Ups and Downs‏

Hey Family,

This week may have the toughest week of my mission so far. The new area is good but i´m way stressed out.

On tuesday on got on a train and headed here and got here at about 11 in the morning. After that i spent most of the day with the Elder~s who are serving in the area thats right next to ours. I had to spend most of the day with them because the Elder I´m greenie breaking, Elder Dalton, wasn´t going to get here until about 4 in the afternoon. The day went pretty well but we didn´t do much missionary work on that first day. Our house is pretty bad(i´ll send pictures later) and the Elders before us didnt clean anything before they left. So when me and Elder Dalton got together we went and got some groceries and ate at McDonalds before we tackled our house. We did that for a while and then headed to our chapel to talk to our ward mission leader. He was supposed to fill us in on our area and what had been happening and maybe give us a tour of our area so we were a little excited to see what had been going on here in Setúbal. I say that because this area is known for baptizing alot and also has one of the best wards in the mission. Its actually a ward!(my first one!).

When we got to the church everyõne seemed a little stressed because me and Elder Dalton had no clue what was going on. The first thing we did when we got to the chapel was have a small meeting with ourward mission leader where he told us about the people that the members wanted us to teach. Apparently, they have a ton of people that come to church here but that have never been taught by the missionaries. That didn´t make sense until a little bit later. After that meeting we went home for about an hour and cleaned some more before heading back to the chapel to have a meeting with the bishop and the ward mission leader. That was another really good metting where we learned about the people who had been coming to church. They explained how the members are really good about inviting friends to church but the Elders haven´t been to good at teaching those people. Some people had been taught, others not. The members were confused and told us that they wanted us to contact everyone on the list they gave us before the next week so we could have our own input on these people. Then they told us how they have had a lot of missionaries in this ward who haven´t really helped all that much. They also said very franklytous that they didn´t feel they could trust the last Elders who were here. That confused me a little because those Elders baptized 3 people last transfer. Then they basically said that they were planning on us to be different. We left that meeting really pumped but a little while afterward i realized what i had gotten myself into. I was senior companion, which means that everything good or bad that happens will be a reflextion of me as a misisonary, especially because my compaion is a greenie. I was excited because there are a lot of people that we can teach, but i later re-read a note the other Elders left that saidthe people who had been coming to church just weren´t comfortable enough to talk to the missionaries.

So all at once i was overwhelmed. I was now expected to lead and area that neither me our my companion had ever set foot in, while at the same time doing almost all the talking and taking the greater amount of responsibility. My whole mission i had been junior companion and coasting through my mission, using my older, more experienced companions as crutches. Now, it seemed as though president Torgan had kicked my crutch out of my hands and pushed me down. Needless to say, i felt pretty low and eaten down for a few days.

We spent the first little bit of time here in Setúbal trying to find our way around so we could talk to the people we were supposed to before Sunday, while at the same time trying to contact and knocke doors to find new people to teach as well. I suddenly found myself doing all the contacts and all the talking, instead of my companion. MY workd pretty much fliped upside down and its been really hard for me to ajust over these past few days. I´ve gotten calls form the APs (Elder Wilson) and the Zone Leaders, who have both told me that people are looking to see a "little bit" of change in this area. The Bishop here even talked to the Zone Leaders before transfers and said that he wanted missionaries who were "fire balls". So you can imagine the pressure i feel right now.

We actually managed to talk to quite a few people from the members "to do" list and they actually seemed a little surprised when we told them about what we had accoplished so far. We also had a "MTC" for the members on Firday and President Torgan came and spoke. It was really good and me and Elder Dalton got to do a little workshop for the members so that went well.

Over all, the area has its ups and downs. The members are great and there´s lots of them (120). The bad news is that there are a few crazy people here that scare me to death. Also, we haven´t been able to teach many lessons so far so i´m a little worried. Elder Wilson called to check up on me last night and when i told him our numbers he seemed a little down. He said they knew the numbers would be bad because we are white washing and also because the other Elders didnt leave many investigators behind. Still, i dont think there is any excuse though.

All in all, i´m really worried to see how this transfer goes. I´ve never be so~stressed and overwhelmed in my life while at the same time, having moments where i´ve never been so excited to be a missionary. I have so many mixed feelings about this area. Hopefully i´ll be able to relax a little bit more here soon. Everyone is telling me i´m worring too much, and i know i cant do more than i´m capable, but i want to live up to everyone´s expectations. I´m just praying i can make it through these next few weeks.

Well, on to happier news! Elder Dalton is a pretty good Elder. He speaks pretty well and already understands really well too, so that makes mylife a little easier. If i had to describe his personality, i would say he is a skater. He´s pretty layed back and likes to take charge, which is good because latly i´ve been pretty in decisive. We´ve been working well together, but we´re not anything a like so it´s pretty interesting.

As for the photos, the Elder with red hair is Elder Jones and i only had one transfer with him. The one with brown hair is Elder Thomas, and right now, he is serving with an Elder from Cabo Verde, but still isn´t training. I did get to say good bye to a few people and take some pictures so i´ll try and send those next week.

Thanks for all the advice and especially the prayers. Dont worry too much about me, because thats my job! I´m doing alright and will servive. It´s going to be a tough transfer but i know it will be worth it and i know i´ll learn alot.

Thanks for everything! Eu Amo vocês com todo meu coração!

Com muito amor,
Élder Haws